Wishful thinking

I wish there was a way I could heal you.
Make you smile through your pain, and remind you to breathe.
I wish there was a way I could protect you.
Keep you from falling, keep you from hurting.
I wish there was a way I could save you.
Save you from the evil of the world, save you from yourself.
I wish there was a way I could love you.
Without reservation, and innocently.


I can't.


I'm just me.

NVTJ

Nobody managed to make me angrier,
give me as many headaches,
make me loose my cool so easily.
Nobody annoyed me as much,
made me feel homicidal so many times in a day,
bugged me to the point of tears.
Nobody told me off me so much,
argued to the point of exhaustion,
and hurt me as much.
Nobody broke my heart so many times,
made me cry way too often,
and drove me crazy like you did.

but then again....

Nobody managed to make me smile as much
Laugh till it hurts as often
and feel so protected.
Nobody put up with me like you did
dried my tears as often
and hugged the sad out of me so many times.
Nobody taught me as much
healed me too many times
or was a friend like you.
Nobody forgave me as much
understood me even when I didn't
Loved me like you did.
Nobody made me as afraid of loosing a friend
made me believe in myself so many times,
believed in me like you did.
Nobody made me watch cartoons as often
discover new music and try new things
nobody made such a difference in my life like you did.

Thanks for being you.

Cradlesong

Lay your head on my shoulder,
I don't mind the tears on my t-shirt
If you smile, let it be true
cause I'd rather a frown than a fake smile.
Tell me all your secrets,
or say nothing at all.
It doesn't matter
cause actions speak louder anyway.


You may think you hide it well
that nobody sees the unspoken dreams
the hidden tears.
That your gorgeous smile
hides the storms you have within.


What if I told you,
that I see right through you?


It's ok, you don't have to be afraid,
I'll move mountains not to hurt you.
Let your soul fly to where it belongs
I'll protect your way.
Rest, baby, rest
The world can't hurt you here.


Just let me sing you to sleep,
chase your monsters away
Calm the storms
and kiss your tears away.

Elusive Sleep

I can't sleep.

Gave up trying around 4 in the morning.

It's funny to be the only one awake.

You hear so many things you normally wouldn't pay attention to.

You can hear late lovers scurrying back home.

The lonely drunk man singing some stupid love song.

You pay attention to the sounds your house makes during the night.

The beating of your heart

Your breath

The sound of your loneliness

Raging thoughts that won't shut up.

Yeah, I couldn't sleep last night, 

Morpheus was absent, and sleep went for a joyride

Far, far away from me.

I thought it would be a good time to catch up on my life;

That didn't work too well either.

Nothing but nonsense.

I gave up trying to think

I gave up trying to sleep

I think I gave up

Looking in the mirror...

What is it that makes people so terrified of finding themselves alone? Could it be the fear we all have of coming face to face with none other than the person who stares back at you in the mirror?
The fear of facing yourself grows into a gigantic monster, so hideous and disgusting; that you'd rather have an overload of things in your life that most of the time aren't even worth it, basically so you won't have to deal with the reflection you see.

Could it be because when you look in the mirror; you happen to see everything you don't want to see? You see the imperfections you so keenly believe you have. You see the person you wanted to be, but fail miserably at being. All your flaws and mistakes flaunt their ugliness, while your lost hopes and dreams scream as they slowly die and fade into the distance. Your image slowly distorts itself until all you see is how ugly, dumb, fat and disgusting you are.

So you close your eyes in desperation, hoping the monster you just looked at disappears. You plaster a fake smile on your face, and with dishonest hopes and dreams pretend you're brave enough to take on the world.
You go on to look for whatever it is you're missing, be it in good or bad company; drinks, or a night of mindless, loveless sex. When that doesn't work, you start surrounding yourself with people you hope can see in you what you wish you saw; the bright, witty, smart, funny, and beautiful. Allowing yourself to believe, even if for a moment; that you could be all that you strive for.

All the while you know that eventually you'll have to go back and deal with what you see when you look in the mirror.

Crash

Take my breath away
make me beg for mercy
pay no attention to my pleas
leave me wanting more.


Take my shame 
bring me to my knees
let me lose myself
then find me there.


Take my fear
leave me confused
break my heart
heal it with a kiss.


Take my life
torture me 
leave me for dead
bring me back to life.

Frogs and Prince Charming

"Asking nothing, leave me be. Taking everything in my stride. Don't need reason, don't need rhyme..."

As Bon Scott's voice screeched through my head phones, for some odd and remotely bizarre reason I thought of nothing more nothing less than Prince Charming and (gross) frogs.

Guess I've been running into a lot of frogs lately, so that might have been a good reason for the ocean of nonsense that followed. Well, Bon Scott was definitely a frog... 

From the time we are wee little lassies, we are taught that someday, somehow, and outta of the freaking blue; Prince Charming will come along and rescue us from whatever chaos, mayhem or plain nasty situation we might find our poor little helpless selfs in. (Damn you Disney!) As good little girls our mommas raised us to be, we should wait for that Prince Charming, to then go on and live the rest of our very tedious lives by his side.

Awesome right?! Well, I think that eventually there was a serious shortage of Prince Charming to go around, since over half of the world's population happens to be female. So to soothe the aching hearts of poor little lonely Princesses, we were kindly and moronically introduced to: The Frog! 

Basically, momma's all over the world were telling their bright eyed little angels that: "You know, sometimes Prince Charming can be hiding under the disguise of a frog!" Translation for the "read between the lines" challenged: " Look, not everybody can just have Prince Charming, but you know sometimes that beauty challenged bloke, can turn out to be the guy you're looking for, so don't close your mind, go and kiss a few frogs".  The frog community protested vehemently to being kissed, while the convention of  less than good looking guys praised whatever God they worshiped.

From then on, it was generation after generation that fell under the wicked spell of "Frog & Prince Charming" Girls spent most of their lives waiting for their Prince, and some died that way, while others kind of gave up and settled for the first frog that hopped on by. Some lucky few actually found their Prince Charming, or their Frog who turned out to be their Prince. Others on the other hand just spent the rest of their lives kissing frogs and eventually turned into one... what?! It CAN happen ok?!

Fine, I get it! Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder...oops, BEHOLDER! True that someone's Prince might just as well look like someone else's Frog, or vice a versa... it still doesn't change the fact that you are more likely to run into Frogs, just Frogs. 

Now my questions:

 1 -  Couldn't they have come up with something less disgusting as an analogy?

Seriously, FROGS??!!

2 - Why can't you just kiss? Why is it that this never ending and mostly frustrating search for Mr. Right or Prince Charming be a rule to live by? (Once again; Damn you Disney!)

Yes, I have kissed more than my fair share of Frogs, and had a few close calls with some Princes (dodged those like a pro), finally I came to the conclusion that you should just kiss, enjoy whatever you have or whoever you have for what they are. Quit trying to find your Prince, Frog or whatnot, and enjoy whatever life throws your way.

I know it's easier said than done, cause apart from frogs we might run into; dogs, cats, Bambi, snakes and a very varied assortment of creatures. I leave the endless hoping for all the Disney babies around the world.

As for me...

" Ain't nothing I would rather do. Going down, party time. My friends are gonna be there too..."